


Crossroad hearts

by unmeiboy



Series: Crossroad hearts [1]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kis-My-Ft2 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Siblings, Angst, Fluff, Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:18:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unmeiboy/pseuds/unmeiboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kento knows that their relationship is wrong. It just doesn't feel wrong, and he's not unhappy with it. Until he meets Nikaido.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fujigaya and Senga are brothers, therefore written as Taisuke and Kento. Because, well, last names.

It's already late at night when Kento hears his bedroom door open, a sound that feels distant through his sleepy state. He's facing the wall, like he always does when he's about to sleep, and the room is completely dark with the exception of the light that slips in by the side of the window, where his curtain doesn't manage to shut it out entirely.

Next there's a shift in his bed, and he knows that it's his older brother crawling in next to him even before an arm wraps around him and the smell of his shampoo reaches his nose.  
“Taisuke,” he sighs, makes sure it's easy to hear he's complaining; they should be sleeping, both of them.  
“What?” Taisuke speaks against the back of his neck, nuzzles his curly hair as he scoots a little closer. The thin fabric his t-shirt is made of easily lets the warmth of his body sip through to Kento's naked back, a great contrast to how his cold feet brush against his skin when Taisuke tries to tangle their legs.  
“Aren't you working tomorrow?”  
“No, I'm off.” He can _hear_ the satisfied look on Taisuke's face when he says it.  
“You should sleep in your own bed then. I'm getting up early for school.”  
“I don't mind waking up when you do.” He finishes his sentence with a soft press of lips against Kento's neck. The hand tracing his abs is calm, almost lazy; Kento just barely thinks of it, mind heavy with sleepiness. It comes down to his belly-button, tugs a little on the skin above it. He knows Taisuke would like him to get it pierced, says it'd suit him, but he won't. He's not one for needles, and getting his ear pierced had been more than enough. And then there's the fact that Taisuke has had his pierced too, since he was in high school, and the memory of the yelling Taisuke had to take after their parents found out doesn't exactly encourage him.

His skin jumps when Taisuke slides his hand a little lower, back and forth above the lining of his plain boxer shorts, his nerves awakening, but he pretends that he isn't reacting. It's all in vain, he knows it, because there's no way Taisuke isn't aware that these small but not at all innocent touches is getting his body interested already.  
“Taisuke,” he sighs again, “really?” He gets no answer, just a couple fingers that slip under the lining but not further, only teasing at the edge before they withdraw.  
“Mm.” Taisuke's hand moves back up and he sets it flat against Kento's chest as he pulls him back against his own body. There's a movement, just a vague roll of hips, but it's enough that Kento is sure how this is going to end. “You're showering in the morning anyway, right?”  
“Yeah, but that's -”

What he wants to say is that that's not the problem, but he's cut off by Taisuke's index and middle fingers against his lips, urging them apart. Without a thought he opens up and lets them in, can't help but respond when Taisuke plays with them on his tongue, and a couple of slow in-out thrusts later both his lips and Taisuke's fingers are moist with saliva.  
“Taisuke, mom and dad are home,” he hisses, even though he's sure Taisuke knows; and no, he doesn't say anything. Taisuke just raises himself a little, putting the weight of his upper body on his forearm so that he can lean over Kento, place a soft kiss against the side of his neck.  
“Shh,” is all he gets in the end, while Taisuke lets his wet fingers make contact with a nipple, strokes it hard, relishes the gasp Kento can't seem to hold back. And Kento knows that he's not trying to shut him up so that he'll let Taisuke have his way with him; he's already past that stage, not to mention that had they been alone in the house with no school the following day, he wouldn't have needed to be persuaded at all. No, what he means when he hushes him, is just something so simple as to tell him to be quiet. If they're quiet, they won't be found out.

It's a by now familiar feeling when Taisuke's mouth latches onto his skin, below and a little behind his ear, where no one will notice unless they look for it. It starts softly, like usual, a kiss, a nip with his teeth, but then he can feel tongue on his neck, wet and warm, before he takes skin between his teeth and sucks. The first time Kento had found it a little bit painful, but he got to try on his brother a couple times, and now he only finds it arousing, prefers getting them rather than making them himself. Taisuke knows that, keeps playing with his nipple as he sucks on the skin, and the suppressed moan Kento gives makes him rock forward a little, rubbing his growing erection against his ass.

Kento would be ashamed to admit it, but he doesn't hate the way Taisuke breathes next to his ear when he rubs against him from behind, hard but not in a rush, just lazily moving against him while he keeps teasing with his fingers. That's exactly why Kento barely has the time to react when the hand is suddenly gone from his nipple, and instead is touching him through the fabric of his underwear. He's no longer ashamed when Taisuke gets him hard, just moves towards his touch, because Taisuke is good with his hands and Kento knows he likes to see how he affects him, knows it turns him on.

And yes, Taisuke is fully hard already, breath coming in small puffs of air next to Kento's jawline as he rubs against him. He expects the hand that slips inside his underwear, anticipated it, even, but at the same time he feels fingertips against the cheek that had been resting against his pillow until Taisuke sucked the hickey into his neck. They push a little, make him tilt his head, and at the first slow, but firm stroke to his cock, Taisuke covers his lips and swallows the moan he must have known Kento would forget to stop.

Taisuke always kisses him so gently, at least in the beginning, soft and almost innocently. But then he breaks it, and Kento shivers when their eyes meet.

He knows it's wrong, but Taisuke is so gorgeous, hair a little ruffled and eyes hooded, and the arousal in them is so easy to see. A smirk finds its way onto his lips, his full, soft lips, and Kento tries to turn onto his back and push up to feel them against his again. Taisuke lets him, places one of his own legs between Kento's two as he gets on top of him, both hands in Kento's hair as he kisses back, both of their lips parting at the same time. Much like he used his fingers to play with Kento's tongue before he does the same with his own now, and he gives a soft, breathy laugh at how Kento rubs up against his thigh.  
“Kento,” he whispers, trails kisses down his neck to his collarbones as he speaks, “You want me to blow you?”

There's no need for Taisuke to look, really, but he does anyway, only to see Kento give up the last drop of his resistance and nod. He throws his t-shirt off before pushing the covers aside, pulls Kento's underwear off while he moves down.  
“Keep quiet,” he mumbles as he nuzzles his skin, right next to where his cock twitches from just the feeling of warm breath against it. Flicking his tongue out against the head of it he has Kento gasping again, and Taisuke pushes his hand upwards so that he can cover his own mouth. He doesn't tease any more, though, parts his lips and slide them halfway down the shaft at once, starts bobbing his head without waiting. When he moves up he shifts his eyes, looks at Kento, finds that he's muffling his sounds as well as he can with his hand; he gives one harder suck on the head and their eyes meet. Kento glares at him, as if silently trying to tell him to move on and stop trying to test his self-control, and without protesting he takes him back into his mouth, deeper than before.

Kento has never figured out why, but Taisuke seems to like giving pleasure, sometimes maybe more than he likes receiving it. Maybe it has to do with how it puts Kento completely and fully in his control. No matter what it is, he has learned that nothing gets Taisuke as impatient as giving head, and if he would just sneak a glance at him, he would see that he already has pushed his own underwear out of the way and is jerking himself as he works Kento's length with lips and tongue.  
“Kento,” he all but moans only millimeters from his cock; Kento wants to push back into his mouth, but he also can't say he expected Taisuke to suck him off without interruption. “I want to be inside you.”

They've only gone so far a couple of times. Usually they use their mouths or hands, or just plainly rub against each other until they're coming, sweaty and panting, but a few times, Taisuke has initiated to go further. Those few times they've been alone, no parents in the house, and during the weekend, at that. He's always gentle, slow and steady, and it does feel really good. Only once he's done it to Taisuke, when he was asked if he wanted to try, and he's still not sure which way he likes it best. He just knows that if it's Taisuke, he can trust it to be good.

“Not today,” he speaks under his breath, knows that Taisuke is aware that the timing is bad. Their parents are two rooms away and there's no way they wouldn't hear. And then there's school in the morning. He doesn't get another response, Taisuke just takes him back into his mouth, and the hand he's not touching himself with is playing with Kento's balls, before it starts trailing further down. He stops at Kento's opening, rubs his thumb in circles over it, and this time the moan he lets out in surprise is actually audible. “Taisuke.”

The sparkles in his eyes when they make eye-contact again says clearly that he's just teasing, that he doesn't intend to push Kento into agreeing. He slides his mouth down his shaft a couple times more, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks, but then he pulls away and gets himself out of his underwear completely. Kento wants to tell him to keep sucking, doesn't want the hot, wet pleasure to stop, but a glance to Taisuke's hard cock, shining with pre-come at the tip, and he sees where this is going. His legs are spread by the soft touch of Taisuke's hands, almost like he was about to actually go inside him, but he only gets in between them and rocks his hips against Kento's. Their cocks rub together, one of Taisuke's hands wrapping around both of them as he keeps thrusting, their lips coming together and even though the kiss is still gentle, it's a lot messier now.

He isn't sure this actually makes a lot less sound than it would have if he had let Taisuke do what he wanted from the beginning; it still makes his bed creak a little with every thrust, and Taisuke is moaning every time their lips part. Then again he can control his own sounds a lot more like this, and he does, keeps it all down until Taisuke's lips find his neck again, start sucking on the skin on the opposite side from the first mark. He moans, almost a whimper, Taisuke's hand tightens around them as he thrusts with a little more force, and Kento comes with another whimper-like moan, quickly followed by Taisuke's groan against his neck before he stills.  
They kiss again, lazy like the way it all started, but Taisuke pulls away within a minute. “Hand me the tissues and then I'll let you sleep.” He does, leaves it to Taisuke to clean both of them up, and he's already halfway asleep when he finally settles next to him and pulls the cover up. The last thing he feels is a “goodnight” mumbled against the back of his neck.

-

Kento goes to quite a large high school, with enough students that even though he's in his last year, he only recognizes and remembers the names of half the students in his year. It's not that he's asocial either, rather quite the opposite; he has a lot of friends of both genders. There's just really a lot of people there.

So the first time he exchanges a couple words with him, he can't say he's surprised that it feels like he has never seen the boy, ever. It's at a class mix-up sports day, something the teachers had come up with, and even though he hadn't exactly been happy about it before, he definitely is when it's over.

He learns that the boy is called Nikaido, Nikaido Takashi. He's a little shy when they get introduced, but as soon as their entire team is all up in the basketball tournament, cheering for each other, Kento understands that he's in fact loud and cheerful, enthusiastic. He continuously makes jokes throughout the lunch break, sits next to Kento and tells him embarrassing things about his friends, and Kento laughs when they start threatening him because honestly, he deserves it.

It's strange though, because Nikaido isn't the kind of person Kento would normally hang out with. He prefers his friends fun, yes, but people like Nikaido tend to border on irritating. There's just something about his smile when he laughs, and with his eyes, almost glittering with happiness when he plays around with his friends, as well as the determination in them when he's the one on court, passing the basketball to another teammate. Kento isn't sure what it is, but he does know that he wants to get to know Nikaido better.

At the end of the day they exchange phone numbers and mail addresses, and Kento finds himself with his phone in his hand until he has to turn the lights off and go to sleep. They're not even messaging each other about something important, just sharing little tidbits about how much homework there is and that the last year really is as tough as everyone else says. Kento mentions that his older brother has told him to fear the last semester, and Nikaido responds with a laughing smiley, along with a _“You have a big brother? Cool!”_. He learns that Nikaido only has a younger sister, right in the middle of her teenage years, and that she apparently is a pain in the ass more often that not.

He wakes up to a _“Good morning :P”_ , and isn't even aware that he's smiling while he walks down the stairs typing on his phone.  
“Kento, keep your eyes off the phone while you walk,” his mother warns him when he stumbles at the last step, but he just shrugs and sits down by the kitchen table, reaches for a plate and some bread. Taisuke is sitting next to him, just like he's always done, and he puts and arm around Kento's shoulders to pull him closer in an attempt to peek at what he's so busy doing.  
“Found a girl you like?” he smirks, and in the background their mother discretely stops washing the dishes to listen.  
“No.” Kento tries to lean away, but Taisuke's fingertips have found the hickey he put on him just a couple of days ago, and they are pressing against it enough to make it a little painful, to make him stop struggling.  
“A boy?” he asks again, a little lower, but they both know their mother can hear them, and she confirms it by stiffening a little. She doesn't turn around, though.  
“Taisuke, stop it, it's just a friend okay?”  
“Really? Hmm,” Taisuke is still smirking, but he lets go and Kento reaches for the butter next. “It's okay if you'd get a boyfriend, though.” He glances in their mother's direction. “Right, mom?”

They've never really talked about it before, neither of them know their parents' opinion on same-sex relationships, and somehow, they find that both of them wait for her answer in tense silence. Considering her body language just a minute ago, Kento wouldn't be surprised if she's not appreciative of it.  
“Of course,” she says as she turns around, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. “We love you, Kento, and you should be with the one you love. No matter if it's a girl or a boy.”  
“See, Kento? No need to be shy! Now tell me about your boyfriend!” He ruffles his hair, and Kento is only so far from smearing his entire face with butter.  
“I told you he's just a friend!”


	2. Chapter 2

They meet in the hallways sometimes, say hi and complain about this-or-that, but it takes a couple weeks before Nikaido sends him a message right before class ends, and asks if Kento wants to eat lunch with him. Kento agrees, brings his lunchbox over to Nikaido's classroom. He's surprised to see him waiting in the corridor, and together they go outside, sit in the sun as they eat. Again they talk about nothing unimportant, much like their messages, only now he gets to see his face while they converse, and it's a really nice change. He's so enthusiastic when he talks about the mystery drama that aired last night, which they both watched because Nikaido wouldn't shut up about it; it had turned out to be pretty good, and Kento decided to keep watching it.  
“And you know, I really thought the police woman was suspicious! She is suspicious, right? It's not just me, isn't it?” he asks, waving his hands around for emphasis, and Kento just laughs and agrees. After all, she had been acting strange.

The lunch break is over far too quickly, and Kento almost has to run back to his own classroom to make it on time. Two of his classmates whistle when he says he had lunch with someone else, but he just tells them to shut up, and so does the teacher when she enters and they're still trying to get details out of him.

In a way, he supposes it's silly that he sits all day texting a friend in the very same building, but he defends himself with the fact that they're new friends and have lots to share, they get along surprisingly well, _and_ he has free unlimited text messages. Mom won't yell at him for that, for sure. In fact, he's so up in it that he's about to leave for the bus, face glued to his smartphone screen, when he passes the car parking and someone honks at him. He jumps, and so do his friends and the rest of the students around him, and when he looks up he sees his brother's car by the sidewalk. It's black and glossy, not particularly large, but it is a convertible and right now he's riding with the top down. It's so obvious that he's showing off, letting everyone know that he's at least good enough at designing clothes that he can afford a relatively fancy car. Never mind that he still lives with his parents, it's all about priorities. And to be fair, at busy times he practically lives in his studio anyway.  
“Kento!” He waves with a smile, charm turned on to 100 percents; the girls in Kento's school love him and he knows it. “We're going to the gym. Did you forget?”  
“Oh, right.” Kento had honestly forgotten about it, but he says goodbye to his friends before he over to the car and gets into the passenger seat. He barely has the time to close the door before Taisuke is leaning over him, face dangerously close considering where they are; he can feel his breath on his cheek, and the girls on the sidewalk stop squealing for a second. But Taisuke only grabs the seatbelt, pulls it around Kento and fastens it for him, and the next thing he hears is the girls talking to each other about how much of a gentleman Kento's older brother is.  
“Taisuke seriously, stop doing that,” he says as they leave the school, because even if the girls there might have acted like it was the first time they saw it, it wasn't. His friends don't make a big deal out of it anymore, and when they do comment on it, they'd just say that it's nice to see that they're so close. And every time he gets those comments Kento feels like he can't respond, because if they knew exactly how close they are, they'd probably never want to talk to him ever again.

It's not the only time he does things like that. It's like he loves to tease Senga in public as well, just enough that someone might raise an eyebrow but most of the people would just laugh it off or call them close siblings. It's only Kento who knows how dangerously close it is to the truth, wishes he would stop, because he doesn't want his friends to suspect anything at all. But when he confronts Taisuke about it, when he asks him to not do that in front of his friends, he never gets far enough to get him to agree. Usually, as long as the situation allows it, which it usually does because he can't talk about it with parents (or anyone) around, he ends up with Taisuke's tongue in his mouth or his hands down his pants, whispering dirty things about how Kento wants him. And he can't deny that, not really.

“Why?” Taisuke says with a smirk. “I'm just acting like I always do.” Kento can't argue with that. But while it is true, he wishes Taisuke would at least tone it down in public. He never does anything entirely inappropriate, but at least Kento has never seen another couple of siblings act the way they do. But then again, they aren't your ordinary couple of siblings anyway.

On the way home they drive with the top up, and they're just a couple minutes from their house when Taisuke drops speed and turns his head to look at Kento, who already suspects what's to come when he looks into his eyes. He thought he noticed earlier, wasn't sure though, when he sneaked a glance at Taisuke's sweatpants, saw what might be the beginning of an erection starting to tent them.  
“Kento, give me a blowjob?” he asks, and Kento nods. It's not the first time this happens after going to the gym together, although they usually make it home before Taisuke closes in on him. But he doesn't mind sucking Taisuke off, and once the car is parked and the engine turned off he undoes his belt and bends over the gear shift, to where Taisuke has already leaned his backrest back a little and pushed his pants down along with his underwear. It's definitely not just the beginning of an erection anymore, and right about when Kento starts wondering exactly what Taisuke had seen at the gym and fantasized about since then, he starts talking.  
“You got so hot, Kento,” he moans as Kento slips his tongue out against the head of his cock, covers it completely in saliva with small, swift licks, before he takes it into his mouth. “You've always been pretty, but,” one of his hands tangles into Kento's curly hair, “when you're lifting at the gym, you're so damn hot. You look so strong, you are strong, and...”

Kento listens with only one ear, takes Taisuke further into his mouth, swipes his tongue along it when he pulls away halfway and takes it in again; Taisuke pauses to moan before he continues.  
“It's like at some point, your shoulders got broad and muscular and, _ah_ , you should see how the girls look at you, you know. I bet some of the boys look too,” the hand tightens in his hair, “because your ass is just...” His cock twitches in Kento's mouth, the hand on his head pushes him down a little further, and he opens up as far as he can. Taisuke is already close to coming, and Kento himself is just starting to get worked up. “And none of them knows that I'm the one that gets to fuck you.”

It isn't unusual that Taisuke speaks a little dirty, but it's not very often he says that the he _fucks_ Kento. There's something about the word that usually makes him avoid it, perhaps that it sounds too vulgar or something, at least that's what Kento figured it was. But now that he is saying it, it's hot, hot enough that Kento feels his own cock throbbing in his pants, and he sucks harder. And even before his neck starts getting tired because of the slightly awkward position he's in, Taisuke's hips begin thrusting on their own, and that along with a small tug on his hair is the only warning he gets before Taisuke comes, pulsing hot against his tongue. He swallows as much as he can, feels a drop of it escape his lips and is about to wipe it away when there's a hand on his cheek, the one that had been in his hair, guiding him up. He's eye-level with Taisuke when a fingertip swipes along his swollen lower lip, brings the drop of come with it as it pushes into his mouth. Kento licks it off the pad of his finger, swallows it down, and Taisuke's are dark and warm, a smile on his lips as he pulls him a little closer by his chin, then leans the rest of the way to press their lips together. Their tongues come together immediately, Taisuke much slower than Kento, who's getting impatient now that he has sucked and gotten turned on.  
But then Taisuke breaks away, pats him on the head, and pulls his own pants up before he turns the engine on again. “Fix your hair,” he just says, puts his hands on the steering wheel and drives out from the side of the road. Kento knows Taisuke is going to take care of him when they get home, but he still hates it when he does this. Hiding his hard-on from their parents isn't the easiest task, but he can always hope they don't bother coming to meet them at the entrance at all.

-

"Hey, Kenpi?" Nikaido mumbles all of a sudden. It's dark around them, but not completely; Kento can still see his features in the light that sips in through his light blue curtains. Something jumps a little in his chest when he hears Nikaido call him by that nickname, quiet and a little curious. It was Nikaido who made it up, _"Kenpi"_ , and Kento likes it, thinks it sounds cute. Especially when it's Nikaido saying it.  
"Mm?" They've turned off the lights to go to sleep already, but it's the first time they sleep in the same room and they could probably keep talking forever. Just a minute ago they said goodnight for the fourth time, and Kento is actually getting a little sleepy, but talking to Nikaido is more fun.  
"You're not a virgin, right?" The question surprises him, and for a moment he panics. He can't tell the entire truth about this, and he'd hate to have to lie to Nikaido.  
"I'm not," he just says, tries to sound calm as he shakes his head a little. "You?"  
"Yeah," he admits, almost looks a little embarrassed by it, and it's so cute Kento thinks he might have fallen in love for real. "What's it like? To be with a girl?"

Kento takes a breath and pauses. Is this really the best timing for him to come out to Nikaido?  
"Nika, I... Please don't judge me?" He looks away, but hears how Nikaido turns towards him in suddenly increased curiosity. "I've never been with a girl. And I honestly don't think I ever will."  
"... Oh." The silence is only awkward for half a minute. "That's fine. I made out with a boy once. I kinda liked it."

Somewhere inside him, something shouts at Kento that he should go for it, right then. But he tells that something to shut up, because he's not even sure if what he feels is how it feels to be in love, or if it's just a longing to have a really close friend, and he wouldn't for anything in his life want to ruin what he has built with Nikaido so far. Plus, Nikaido might not even find him attractive at all. It's not like all men who like men are compatible, just like all straight people aren't compatible with every person of their opposite gender.  
"So what's that like, then?"  
"It's good," is all he can say, "it feels good. Much better than on your own."  
"I kind of expected that," he almost laughs, and the smile that comes with it calms Kento's heartbeat considerably. Nikaido isn't disgusted by his sexual orientation. "But maybe you don't want to tell me about your boyfriend."

Kento freezes at that. Boyfriend? He hasn't ever said he's in a relationship, has he? Because he's not. What he and Taisuke are doing, that's not a relationship. It's... Something else, that no one will ever get to know about. Ever.  
"Nika... I don't have a boyfriend."  
"You always have... marks, though." He tries, and at first Kento doesn't get it. "Hickeys."

Shit. Nikaido has noticed the hickeys.  
"Oh. That's. That's different. I... I'm not in a relationship."  
Nikaido looks like he doubts him for a second, but then his face relaxes. "Just a fuck buddy thing?"  
"Yeah, kind of," Kento hurries to say, and Nikaido seems content with the answer. "I'd quit that the moment I got into a relationship though, if I ever do." And he's not sure if it's his mind playing with him or not, but he thinks Nikaido smiles a little extra at that.


	3. Chapter 3

He's curled up in the couch with Taisuke the following weekend, a little closer than they can be on normal days; their parents are away visiting relatives, not very far from home but far enough that they have decided to stay there over the night.

It's warm and cozy, Taisuke's arm around his shoulders and one of his hands playing with strands of his hair. He leans his head on his shoulder, breathes in the smell of his shampoo, the detergent that lingers in his clothes, the perfume he wore for work the same day; all familiar and comforting smells, a little bit like being home. Kento himself finds it weird to think so, because they _are_ at home, but he's sure that even if they weren't, as long as he'd have this, he would feel a little bit like he was. As if his mind is being read the hand in his hair is lowered, the arm moves from his shoulders to his waist, pulls him a little closer, holds him a little tighter, and he leans more of his upper body against Taisuke. There's a soft, warm pressure against his forehead, then light breath in his fringe, and he leans into the kiss without a thought.

Kento knows what they'll be doing as soon as the movie on TV ends, as soon as they've cleaned up in the kitchen; honestly, he anticipates it. While he is getting more and more sure that what he feels when he is with Nikaido is more than he'd feel for any other friend, he's still not sure, not enough to take the step to tell him, and Taisuke's tending to him serves both as comfort as well as pleasure. And Taisuke has been stuck in his studio almost every day for a couple weeks now, they have barely touched each other and when they have, it's been when Taisuke has had enough energy to drag himself into Kento's bed for a sleepy handjob and lazy kisses.

So when the credits are rolling up the screen he turns his head upwards, and Taisuke is already leaning down to let their lips meet. It's just almost a kiss, rather a soft touch that is more affection than anything else; gentle, as always.  
“Let's shower, Kento?” he mumbles against the corner of Kento's mouth, and even though Kento would rather not, he nods.

Not that he doesn't want to shower with Taisuke. He just knows that there will be so much teasing and he'd rather get straight to business than have Taisuke's fingers play with his body for much too long. It doesn't even start in the shower, because while they're cleaning up what's left since dinner preparations and Kento is doing the dishes, Taisuke walks by with their plates in one hand; the other is on Kento's butt as he leans around him. He puts the plates next to the sink, squeezes a little with the other hand, simultaneously placing a kiss on his neck, and Kento can't help the little sigh that slips out between his lips.  
“Hurry up,” Taisuke sing-songs as he goes back to taking things off the table, and Kento is already cursing himself for agreeing to the shower.

Taisuke is done a couple minutes before him and goes ahead to the bathroom; by the time Kento turns off the lights in the kitchen he suspects Taisuke is already under the hot shower water. To his surprise he's not, he's just standing in his underwear in front of the half-body size mirror playing with his own hair.  
“It looks good, don't worry,” Kento jokes, as if Taisuke was going somewhere he needed to be fancy. In response Taisuke just rolls his eyes and turns around, pulls him in by the fabric of his t-shirt, before he grabs the hems of it and pulls it up and off his body. Then he smiles, grabs Kento by the waist and kisses him for real now, careful like it was their first time, the tip of his tongue only teasing a little at Kento's lips until they part and let him in. The hands leave his waist and go for the front of his sweatpants, rubbing him through the fabric in just a couple of small circles, then he pushes them down along with his boxer briefs, and Kento steps out of them without a thought.  
“Get in the shower,” Taisuke says, then gets a light slap on one of his buttcheeks, only hard enough that he actually reacts. And he does, turns the water on and waits for it to get hot before he steps under it, lets it hit his hair. He closes his eyes on reflex, runs hands through his own brown, wet strands of hair, and he's so up in the warmth of the water that he doesn't hear Taisuke entering until he's pressed to his back, arms wrapped around him and lips and tongue on his earlobe. “Want me to wash it for you?”

They do shower together sometimes. Like after the gym, if they get home early enough that neither their mother or father aren't home yet and won't be for a while, or when the parents are away for a while and they can get in there together without looking odd. And while they do have sex in the shower too, they usually do normal things, like washing each other's hair, and that's exactly what they do tonight as well. Taisuke takes his time rubbing the shampoo into Kento's hair, rinses it thoroughly, even gives him a quick shoulder massage before he presses a kiss to his cheek and turns around with a little smile. They switch, Taisuke gets his hair washed, and it's Kento's turn to smile at the little sounds he makes when he gets his back rubbed, but then he has apparently had enough. They're face to face again, then chest to chest as their lips come together, and he feels hands on his ass within seconds. He moans into Taisuke's mouth as he squeezes gently, even more so when one of the hands let go and come around to wrap around his cock instead. Somehow he manages to distract Kento enough that he doesn't even notice when he grabs the bottle he placed in the shower before Kento even got there, and suddenly there's fingers rubbing against his hole, and even though they haven't done it this way a lot, they have done it enough that he can tell that they're covered in lubrication, that it's not just water making them a little slippery.

The first finger slips in easily, helped by how relaxed Kento is after cuddling and showering, and he relocates his face to Taisuke's neck to just breath against it when it's joined by a second. He stretches with long, smooth thrusts, his other arm wrapped around Kento's torso to keep him close to his own body. Despite all the stimulation, on the inside as well as against his now fully hard cock that rubs against Taisuke's skin with every little thrust of his fingers, he feels Taisuke's body responding as well. Just a small shift and Taisuke's erection brushes against his own, and he moves a little against it, earning a short breath that is without doubt out of pleasure.  
“Okay?” Taisuke mumbles against his the top of his head, and he doesn't need to specify more, Kento just nods and waits for the third finger. There is more of a stretch now, but it doesn't hurt; Taisuke is still so gentle, so careful, all while slowly rocking his hips into Kento's.

“I'm ready,” Kento eventually gets out, blushes a little because it's always embarrassing saying it, even more so now since he's sounding a lot more out of breath than he expected. The fingers don't stop moving in and out of him, though, and Taisuke breathes a laugh right next to his ear.  
“You'll never beg me for it, will you?” he teases, maybe for his own imagination, cock twitching against Kento's, but he already knows the answer, is aware that he won't ever be able to. “Come.”

The fingers are pulled free, but he barely has time to feel empty before they're out of the shower, drying their own hair and wrapping themselves in towels, and then they go like that from the bathroom to Kento's bed. There's water drops falling onto the floor as they go, but neither of them care, and Taisuke laughs when he pushes Kento down on his bed, when he squirms as his towel is pulled away, the texture feeling weird against the sensitive head of his cock. Taisuke isn't much better, moans out loud when Kento reaches a hand out and lets it run up his erection, and he bends down to kiss him. Kento barely needs the touch to his inner thighs to spread his legs apart, and Taisuke settles between them, picking up the still wet bottle he brought from the bathroom. With lube on his fingers he slides two of them inside Kento, but they don't linger as he switches to his own cock, prepares himself with quick strokes.

Taisuke is looking into his eyes as he pushes in, his own dark and warm, watching for any kind of pain, but once he's all the way inside and Kento releases the breath he hadn't even known he was holding, he smirks instead.  
“What would they say,” he whispers, like he's sharing a dirty secret, only Kento obviously already knows, “if they saw us like this.”

It's not clear who “they” are, but it doesn't matter; Kento almost goes cold on the inside, even though it hasn't bothered him much before. He knows that it's wrong, oh so wrong, but it doesn't _feel_ wrong when he's with Taisuke. But ever since Nikaido pointed out that he had seen the hickeys, he's been thinking a lot more, hopes that no one ever finds out. Taisuke doesn't want to be found out either, Kento assumes, but it's been obvious for quite a while that the thought turns him on. That people would find out that his little brother is _his_ , in more ways than he should be.

But then Taisuke pulls back, pushes back in, and all thoughts leave his mind; it feels good already and he knows it'll get even better. Taisuke looks so good on top of him, between his legs, hair dried a little out of order but it just looks hot anyway, just like he always does. The pace is slow, too slow, but Kento doesn't say anything about it, just reaches out and pulls him down towards himself, and he barely catches the little smile that finds its way onto Taisuke's face before their lips come together. It's still a nearly innocent kiss, until Kento sneaks a hand up and rubs one of his nipples, and Taisuke gasps in response. He seems to take it as a challenge, adds some force to his thrusts and next Kento is the one moaning, louder when Taisuke's mouth attaches to his neck. There's no question what he's intending to do, and yes, just a couple seconds later he's sucking on the skin, _hard_.

He lets go with a wet sound, presses a kiss to what must be a mark that is darker than usual, before he leans back up, places his hands on Kento's hips as he starts moving with more of a purpose.  
“Fuck, Kento,” he groans, and it sounds like he's going to say something, ends the sentence in the same way he does when he's about to say something about how hot Kento is, but this time, he doesn't. “Touch yourself.”

Perhaps Taisuke had been more affected than he had seemed like even before they got to the bedroom, or he's just that impatient after weeks of not being able to be with him for real, but Kento doesn't mind. It's fast and hard by the time he comes onto his own stomach, and Taisuke groans deep in his throat when he lets go as well, pulses inside Kento as he stills.  
“Mm.” He just makes a sound when he pulls out, a little bit like he's thinking, but he only settles on his side next to Kento, pulls him close. Kisses his cheek. “Let's do it again later.”

-

When Kento opens the door to his house to let Nikaido in, he can see that he's nervous. They hug quickly, but then he steps aside and gives Nikaido the space to take off his shoes while he takes care of his jacket.  
“My brother and mom are at home,” Kento tells him, supposes that's why he's not as loud and cheerful as he usually is. Meeting people's families is always a little awkward the first time.  
“Oh, okay.” There's footsteps approaching and Nikaido stiffens at first, but he looks up and is met by Taisuke's warm smile.  
“You're Nikaido, right?” They shake hands. “So you're the reason he nearly falls down the stairs in the morning.”  
Senga blushes. “I walk and text, okay?” Nikaido laughs at that, seems to go back to his usual behavior. At least a little.  
“I'm Taisuke, anyway. Nice to meet you.” He disappears up the stairs, most likely to his own room, and with a smile Kento grabs Nikaido's wrists and pulls him into the living room to meet his mother.

They don't really do anything in particular; they meet almost every day anyway and when they don't, they text each other most of their awake time. They're just laying around talking, playing games, and they're just about to pick a movie to watch when Kento's mom calls for them and Taisuke to say that dinner is ready. It's really thanks to Taisuke that the dinner isn't just one big awkward silence; he jokes with both Kento and their parents, pulls Nikaido along in laughter, and in the end they are all involved in a lively discussion. Kento does listen to it, but it's hard to not be distracted by the profile of Nikaido's face when he pays attention to what Kento's father says. Or when he laughs, so happily that his eyes seem to sparkle. Somehow, it feels warm in his chest, and he has to remind himself not to stare. Especially since he has told his family that it's just a friend, especially considering the glances he feels from his other side, where Taisuke is sitting. Curious ones, that aren't in any way hateful, for which he's relieved. He hadn't know what to expect of Taisuke, but he's being surprisingly nice about it even though he's suspecting that Kento likes the boy.

“You have a really nice brother,” Nikaido says when they collapse on the couch in front of the TV.  
“Yeah, I guess I was lucky,” Kento plays along, winks, and Nikaido laughs a little because he knows he's hinting at him not being a great brother to his little sister. “But yeah, he is nice. He has the social skills, for sure.”  
“He's so easy to talk to, you know? _And_ he's handsome. But then again so are you,” he smiles, then gets comfortable against the cushions, stretches his legs out across Kento's legs. “And I like you better anyway.”

When he hears that his heart skips a beat, and that's when he knows that it's too late. He's definitely in love with Nikaido.


	4. Chapter 4

The realization, that he has feelings for Nikaido, doesn't stop Kento from playing with Taisuke the next time he crawls into his bed; he does think of a way to tell Taisuke that he might have found someone he likes, but then he figures that before he does that, he should tell Nikaido. So he lets Taisuke come close, kisses back when their lips meet, doesn't protest when hands roam over his body, touches Taisuke the way he know he likes it, lets him do as he pleases. And he enjoys it, although there is a small something nagging at him, telling him that there's better things he could do. Things that he'd feel more passionate for. Things involving Nikaido.

When they're done, when Taisuke falls asleep behind him, chest to his back and an arm around his waist, the first thing he does is to pick up his phone again, and text Nikaido goodnight. And the next day, there's only two things he actually regrets.

One is that he let Taisuke suck a hickey into his neck again. At the time it felt wonderful, a little painful but nice combined with the pleasure of Taisuke's hands on his body, but when he gets to school, he wishes he had stopped him. Not because his classmate notice; it's neatly covered by his hair, and it's close to the back of his ear anyway, because Taisuke does have the decency to hide what he does, even though he's simultaneously claiming ownership. But no, the classmates don't notice. However, Nikaido does. And the other thing he regrets, is that he texted Nikaido throughout the whole evening and night.

They're eating lunch together when he sees it. It has become a habit, to sit outside the school on a bench in the sun while eating, since they don't have classes together and can hardly meet during the shorter breaks. And that day there's a little bit of wind that plays with his hair, lifts it, blows it around every now and then. Since he knows Nikaido has seen them before he honestly isn't surprised when he feels eyes on him, not on his face but his neck, but then Nikaido puts his chopsticks and his lunch box down next to himself.  
“Kenpi, you... That's a new mark, isn't it?”  
Kento tenses visibly. “... Yeah.” There's no use thinking up an excuse, it's apparently obvious already.  
“Thought so. You didn't have it yesterday.” It breaks his heart a little to hear Nikaido sound just the slightest bit sad. “Even though you said you were at home all day after school.”  
“I was at home,” he replies quick and automatically, because he really doesn't want Nikaido to think he's lying to him. Although lying might be the best choice, in this case.  
“Oh.” Now he looks like he thinks he's being stupid, and that's almost worse. “So your... came over to your place, I guess.”  
“Kinda.” It's technically not a lie. “Why?”

Nikaido blushes. Nikaido blushes and looks away and it's so silly but it makes Kento's heart ache a little with how cute it is.  
“Oh, just wondering. You were texting me basically all night too so I thought you were alone.” He pauses. “And I'm a little jealous.”  
Kento didn't expect him to be so straightforward. “... jealous?”  
“I guess I just wish someone wanted me, even like that, without feelings. … I'd prefer it with feelings though.”

He can tell that Nikaido still isn't exactly happy, even though he laughs while they talk and smile as he leaves for his own classroom, and he has to tell himself to stop hoping when his mind begins dreaming up scenarios of himself with Nikaido. Some as innocent as confessing and getting a “me too” for response; others where he's kissing him breathless, pushing him down on his bed as gently as he possibly could. Nikaido on his back, cheeks flushed red in arousal, lips swollen from kissing and with nervousness in his eyes as Kento makes him feel good, does his best to give him the most comfortable first time he possibly could. He probably looks like a fool with a smile on his face for no particular reason, but just the thought that Nikaido might actually feel something for him makes it impossible to stop daydreaming.

_-_

They're probably both aware of their feelings when Kento sleeps over at Nikaido's place the second time. They stay up late watching a movie, and Nikaido plays absentmindedly with Kento's hair throughout the nearly 3 hours it lasts. Not leaning into the touch is hard, and when he does, Nikaido shifts a little towards him as well. But nothing happens, they just stay like that, and even though the touches are so small it wouldn't be worth even noting if they were in another situation, it sends tiny rushes of happiness through Kento's entire body.

The movie ends with a night sky and fireworks, the main characters finally kissing, and even though he wants to watch it in silence, Nikaido yawns loudly and he can't help bursting out into laughter.  
“Tired?” he teases, pokes him in the stomach, and then he looks at the clock. It's past three am and it's not strange at all for Nikaido to be sleepy. So they turn everything off, TV as well as lights, head over to Nikaido's room only to remember that they didn't prepare the extra bed for Kento.  
“Ugh let's just get it done with,” Nikaido groans, starts turning to go get the sheets, but Kento stops him with a hand on his arm.  
He takes a deep breath before he speaks. “I could just sleep in your bed instead? If you don't mind?” Hopefully it doesn't sound too straightforward.  
“Yeah, I... I guess I don't mind.” He seems a little surprised, stands motionless as Kento tugs his own t-shirt off and crawls into the bed with the pajama pants he had changed to even before they decided what to watch. He pulls the covers up and looks expectantly on Nikaido, who still hasn't moved.  
“Come on, I thought you were tired?” The words wake him from whatever he was stuck thinking, and he strips himself of his own shirt and gets in next to Kento. It's not a tiny bed, but it's not huge either, just enough that they can lie next to each other without touching. Nikaido clicks the button to his bedside lamp, it turns really dark, and Kento only hears him turn so that they're face to face.  
“Kenpi, I...” he mumbles suddenly, but then he yawns again, and Kento giggles.  
“Goodnight,” he says, and it might be the sleepiness clouding his own mind that makes him do it without a thought to if he should or not; he leans in and places a soft, quick kiss to Nikaido's cheek.

When he wakes up in the morning he finds that Nikaido is already awake, but he's just on his back, breathing calmly as he stares at the ceiling.  
“Good morning,” he says to make him realize they're both awake now, and Nikaido almost jumps.  
“Hey,” he says, and that's all. He's so awkward it's cute, and Kento pokes him much like he had done last night. The smile is back on his face as he smirks and turns onto his side, and Kento just looks back at him, butterflies not only in his stomach, more like everywhere they could possibly go.  
“Nika, I think I like you,” he blurts out, and this time Nikaido stares at him instead of the ceiling, looking like he can't believe what he just heard.  
“You do?” There's an uncertain smile spreading on his lips as he speaks. Kento nods. “I... I like you too. A lot.” The silence between them is a little tense, but only until Kento reaches out for him, for a hug. Nikaido scoots closer, lets himself be pulled into the embrace, and to Kento's surprise, he's the one of them to close the distance between them with a careful, testing kiss.

_-_

The following week, nothing really changes for Kento. He goes to school as usual, has his lunch with Nikaido, texts him from morning to night. Taisuke is not at home as much as he usually is, and doesn't really approach Kento more than any other sibling would; only once, when they're alone in the living room, he presses a kiss to the nape of his neck, but that's all there is. He guesses that there's a lot to do at the studio, since when he does see his brother, he seems to be completely exhausted.

He keeps thinking about telling Taisuke about how he feels for Nikaido, but there's never a good opportunity, and they haven't really decided they're actually together anyway. Once in a while Kento sneaks him a kiss, they hug a little longer than they would before, but it isn't a huge change. He can be open with what he feels, though, and so is Nikaido, and that alone seems to make things so much easier. Nikaido's eyes are still checking his neck and collarbones every day, probably anxious about new marks, even though the last one he has is already faded to the point where it's hard to see it has ever been there.  
“Nika,” he says when he catches him glancing at his neck again during lunch, “don't worry about that?”  
“What?” Nikaido tries to sound like he has no idea what Kento is talking about.  
“My... the one I used to sleep with. I don't anymore, okay?”  
Now Nikaido is staring at him again, a little like he did that time when Kento confessed all of a sudden. “Does that mean that you... we...?”  
“We should go on a date, Nika. As a couple,” Kento says, and he would never have thought he would ever sound as confident as he thinks he does. The way Nikaido smiles and nods eagerly boosts that confidence further, enough that he leans in and kisses him, right there, on their lunch bench outside the school, and he's kind of thankful that the bell rings right then, because even if he'll be late to class, it means no one is there to watch them.

They're standing outside the school waiting for the bus, Kento and his friends, most of them whining about how much homework there is to do and that they won't get to sleep until they're dead, probably. There is no way he expects the arms that wrap around his waist from behind, and he leans against the body that he's pulled close to, thinking it's Nikaido, even though he doesn't really want his friends to find out that they've got a thing going. But then he realizes that it doesn't smell like Nikaido at all; it's a different shampoo, no, it's a perfume, and Nikaido doesn't wear any perfume at all. And on top of that, Nikaido is actually joining them right then, hurrying a little as if he's afraid to miss the bus; his class must have finished later than it should have.

There's a soft blowing against his ear, and he's starting to get a grip on exactly who it is holding him now; yes, when he turns his head he finds that it's Taisuke, and his heart skips a beat, this time in the anxiety way.  
“I finished early,” he purrs into Kento's ear, then laughs when he gets pushed away. The friends that are used to this kind of behavior don't even bat an eyelash. Nikaido, however, is looking skeptically at the two of them. He knows that they're close, but he's never seen it like this, and Kento is sure it's making him jealous.  
“The designing project is done?” Kento asks in an attempt to make Nikaido less uncomfortable.  
“Not really, but there was nothing left for me to do. We only have so many sewing machines,” he smiles, then continues, “so I thought I'd pick you up. Let's go have ice-cream? Please?”  
“You're like a child.” Taisuke laughs again, this time along with the group of friends.  
“Shut up,” is all he gets back, then Taisuke is turning to the rest of the people around them. “Oh, Nika, hi!”

Of course it's impossible to look anything other than happy when Taisuke smiles and speaks; he's just that kind of person. So Nikaido responds with a smile that looks happier than Kento knows he is, says that he's doing fine when asked, and doesn't look the slightest disappointed when Taisuke says he'll steal Kento for the rest of the day. A hand finds his wrist and pulls him along towards Taisuke's car, but it lets go quickly and he follows anyway, because to be honest ice-cream sounds better than the half an hour bus ride that will only lead to his home and the reports he should be writing instead of texting all day. That, and he might get a chance to tell Taisuke that he'll probably start dating Nikaido, for real, and he's so deep in thought trying to come up with how to say it, that he doesn't notice the girls whispering to each other as they pass by.


	5. Chapter 5

In the end Taisuke is the one of them talking, completely uninterruptable; it turns out that he has been awake all night and had a lot of coffee on top of that. It results in that Kento doesn't get a chance to talk to him about Nikaido, not even when they get home, because Taisuke goes straight to bed and collapses without having dinner. So he ends up writing his reports anyway, pausing to tell Nikaido about his trip and say sorry for his brother showing up all of a sudden. Nikaido seems to be okay with it once he gets the design project explanation, and before he falls asleep he sends off a “goodnight” with a little heart attached, for the first time.

Kento takes it on himself to plan their first date, and it turns out to be a success. They start with a quick lunch at a cafe, before they get on a train; he doesn't tell Nikaido where they're going, but as they ride it gets more and more obvious what their destination is. There's a smile on his face even before they get to the amusement park, and Kento sighs in relief because what if Nikaido didn't like those kinds of things?

It turns out that he does; when asked he does admit that he finds roller-coasters a little scary if they're big, but he's good sport and rides them anyway. Kento thinks they're scary too, and they scream together and come back down all shaky, both of them. It serves as a nice excuse for a break after everything they ride that is fast and steep, and they laugh at themselves while sitting on whichever bench is closest to the attraction they just got off. They have so much fun that they don't realize that hours go by, and they're probably both a little tired and hungry when they decided to have crepes. They're delicious, much better than the ones Kento has had with Taisuke while out shopping, and the whole thing only gets better when Nikaido makes a mess of his own face when trying to eat it without a spoon.

Next Kento suggests the only roller-coaster they haven't been on yet, but it involves loops and Nikaido claims that he will throw up if he has to go on that after eating all that sugar and whipped cream. So they head for the haunted house, even though neither of them really want to. It's not a small one, and it's actually really scary; the staff has amazing make-up and the interior looks unbelievably real. Not that they have a chance to appreciate it until afterwards, though, because most of the time they're screaming and clinging to each others arms.

“Kenpi.” Nikaido's face is pale when they exit the building. “I thought I was going to _die_.”  
“I'd never let you,” he winks, even though he had been exactly as frightened only minutes before.  
“Can we do something that isn't scary now?” He sounds so cute that Kento can't stop himself from hugging him tight with a small laugh.  
“Of course we can. Ferris wheel?”

Nikaido is looking down as they go up into the air, watches the people on the ground grow smaller and smaller.  
“You know what, this is actually kind of scary,” he says, but he doesn't sound half as scared as after the ghosts.  
“Look at me instead, then,” Kento suggest, and to his surprise, Nikaido does. It turns a little awkward for a second, but then he reaches for his hand, and Nikaido lets him take it, laces their fingers together. They're probably close to the top of the wheel when Kento leans forward and kisses him, sweet and short, but it's enough for Nikaido's eyes to change from slightly frightened to glittering with happiness. And Kento falls even deeper in love with him.  
“Nika,” he says, “Nika, be my boyfriend?”  
“If you'll be mine. Only mine.” Kento wants to poke him for saying stupid things, but all he does is press their lips together again, and when he does he feels the smile on Nikaido's against his.

-

He's on the way from the bathroom one night, having brushed his teeth and gotten ready for bed; it's so late that his parents said goodnight an hour ago, and he has stayed up with an assignment since the deadline is the following day. Then suddenly, right outside his own bedroom door, arms sneak around his waist and there's a couple of lips on his earlobe, then teeth, pulling softly on it.  
“Kento, let me sleep with you tonight?” Even though Taisuke asks, breath hot against his ear, one of his hands are already on the lining of Kento's pajama pants, threatening to go lower.  
“Taisuke, stop.” He takes hold of his wrists, forces them apart, then turns to face his brother instead. “I'm sorry, but no.”

Taisuke tilts his head a little, and damn it if he doesn't look pretty like that too, confused and questioning, but Kento has decided. He's not going to have sex with him anymore.  
“Why?” he asks, too loudly, and Kento has no choice but to pull him into his room because they're in the corridor and there's nothing worse than their parents waking up to hear their conversation.  
“Sit down.” Taisuke does, sits on his bed and watches as Kento turns his laptop off and comes to sit next to him. He's for some reason ridiculously nervous now that he's going to let Taisuke know about Nikaido, so much that he's shaking a little, sweat breaking out on his forehead, and he bites into his lower lip as he tries to get his words in order.  
“What's up? Feeling sick?” Now he looks genuinely worried, so much that it almost makes him feel bad, and when Kento shakes his head, he places a hand on his thigh. Just a light touch. “Did you do something you shouldn't have?” He shakes his head again, and now the hand moves up a little, teasingly. “Come here,” he tries, looks at him with his bedroom eyes as he tries to pull him in for a kiss, but Kento puts his own hands on Taisuke's shoulders to keep him at a safe distance.  
“Taisuke, I can't do this.” The words leave him before he has the time to think them through.  
“But you haven't ever...” He looks shocked. Kento has never been opposed to this before.  
“I have a boyfriend now.” The hold on him eases, and Taisuke's face goes blank for a couple seconds. “That's why I can't.”  
“Oh.” He doesn't seem mad. Maybe a little disappointed, but he doesn't look hurt, either, and Kento exhales a deep breath he wasn't aware he was holding. “I'm sorry.”  
“Taisuke, don't apologize. I didn't tell you, so how could you possibly know?” Hearing Taisuke say that he's sorry makes Kento feel bad, like he's letting his brother down, even though he knows very well that he shouldn't feel that way at all.  
“It's Nika, isn't it?” he asks with a little smile, and Kento nods, can't keep from smiling himself. “Congrats. I'm glad for your sake, really. That he likes you the way you like him.”

And it's not until after that Taisuke hugs him, says sorry one more time, and leaves the room, that Kento recognizes the tiny bit of bitterness he must have failed to hide in his last sentence.

-

Taisuke doesn't bother him anymore; he still acts close and a little teasing, but he doesn't initiate anything anymore, doesn't sneak into his room at night, doesn't ask Kento to do things with or to him. A new designing project starts and he goes back to staying all night in the studio. It's a little lonely to have breakfast on his own, but apart from that Kento is fine with it. He spends more time with Nikaido, goes on a date every now and then, but mostly they're just like they've always been, ever since they became friends. They study together, play games, watch TV, really, the only difference is that now, they also go to bed together and don't make a big deal out of it. Nikaido's mom turned out to be as accepting as Kento's; they don't have to hide their relationship from either of their families, and it's all too good to be true. Nikaido's little sister is a little too nosy, though, but she's cute so they let her get away with it, and every time she finally leaves them alone she's wearing a smile that looks so much like Nikaido's that Kento sometimes teases him, says that if he had been straight he might have fallen in love with her instead. When he does, he always get a “ew, gross” and a grimace for answer, because it's his _sister_ , and at those times, he feels that the secret he has to keep inside, the one about Taisuke, will be a lot more than just “gross” if Nikaido gets to know.

He doesn't ask, though, so Kento keeps quiet. It's not like there's a reason for him to ask, anyway. He hasn't had a single hickey since the last one faded, the one that was nearly gone when they kissed outside the school during lunch break.

They haven't gone much further than kissing. During the weekends they can make out all night, just kiss and whisper things and touch each other more innocently than Senga ever touched Taisuke while making out, but he doesn't want to push it, either. It seems like Nikaido's sister thinks they're going all the way already, keeps hinting that she hears them in the night, but she's just making it up, really.

Then suddenly one night, something changes, or maybe Nikaido just decides to go for it, and Kento finds himself on his back, Nikaido on top of him with a leg between his own, and the suddenness of it all has him rubbing up against the conveniently placed thigh. They've been in similar positions while making out, yes, but it's different now, Nikaido's lips on his neck, his hips grinding down a little, and Kento's hands find their way to his waist.  
“Mm,” he sighs in pleasure, leans his head to the side to bare more of his neck, only to feel the warm lips on it gone. “You've never made a hickey, have you?”  
Nikaido shakes his head. “Can I?”  
“Yes,” and his voice sounds so desperate to his own ears that he's embarrassed. “It's okay if it's visible.”

Something changes in Nikaido's eyes at that, and Kento can't tell exactly what. It looks strange, different, but he isn't sure he hasn't seen it before, either. But then he ducks, back to his neck, gives a few sucking kisses before he settles at the base of his neck, a little to the side, then bites a little and sucks for real. The breathy moan that leaves his throat might have been one he should have kept in, he thinks, but then Nikaido grinds down harder, and his cock rather than his mind says that no, nope, he totally did the right thing to let Nikaido hear how good he feels.

Almost unconsciously they get a rhythm going, Nikaido rocking down and Kento meeting his thrusts, and it doesn't stop when Kento slides a hand down his torso, not until he reaches the edge of his underwear.  
“Is it okay?” he asks in a whisper, carefully, waits for the nod before he slides his hand inside, wraps it around Nikaido's erection. He's harder than he would probably like to admit, much like Kento himself, but it's not a problem, not at all. He pushes the underwear out of the way, and with the first stroke Nikaido gives a shaky breath, millimeters from Kento's lips, probably having intended to kiss him but not quite being able to. “Relax,” he mumbles, places a kiss on his cheek instead, and Nikaido just breathes, eyes closed, and when Kento leans his head back against the pillow to look at him, his heart beats faster for more reasons than just his boyfriend and the way he makes his body reacts. Nikaido is so beautiful, so natural, and maybe that's exactly what makes it all so attractive; it's easy to see the pleasure on his face, every little movement reflects in both his expression and his breath, and Kento speeds his hand up to hear him more.  
“Kenpi,” he moans, but not until his hips are flexing entirely on their own. “Kenpi, I...”  
“Let go,” is all he responds, a soft whisper against his cheek, squeezes a little harder around his cock with the last strokes, and Nikaido comes, nearly choking on his breath as he does.

It takes a moment for his breath to calm down, and Kento strokes the hair out of his face when he opens his eyes.  
“Wow,” he breathes, “just this is better with someone else.”  
Kento laughs a little. “Told you so.”  
“Sorry,” he says then, shifts his leg a little to feel Kento hard against it, “I should have thought of you too.”  
“Don't say sorry,” and he moves his hand from Nikaido's hip, where he let it rest while waiting for him to come down, to his own cock, rubs it while he speaks, “I'm fine with waiting.”  
“Let me try?” Nikaido says then, a curious tone in his voice, and Kento can't nod quickly enough.

It doesn't take very long for him to get off, with Nikaido trying his very best while sucking on his neck again; he only manages to finish a second mark on him before he's tensing, white spurting onto his own stomach.  
“The last one turned out better, I think,” Nikaido smirks as he reaches for the tissues he keeps next to his bed, and Kento just replies that there's plenty of time to practice as he accepts a couple for himself, cleans himself up a little and throws them in the trashcan.  
“You liked it?” he teases, foresees the blush that creeps onto Nikaido's cheeks.  
“Yeah,” he smiles, tries to look cute and innocent, and he actually kind of succeeds. “... Wait, does this mean I'm not a virgin anymore?”  
“Depends, I guess.” Kento pauses to think. He did have an orgasm that he didn't cause himself. Then again he isn't really sure what counts as virginity and what doesn't, either. “Maybe. There's still a lot of things to do, though,” and he winks at the end of his sentence. “Another day.”


	6. Chapter 6

The following Monday, Kento isn't exactly trying to show off the hickeys; he can't say he's hiding them either, but that would be kind of impossible anyway. He gets through the first period without having anyone pointing them out, but then it's break time and even though he keeps his eyes on his phone, the moment he is talked to and looks up, he sees that his friends notice them.  
“Had fun last weekend, Kento?” one of them says, not at all a question looking for an answer.  
“Who is it?” One of the girls sits on the chair in front of him, elbows on the desk and her chin resting on her hands.  
“None of your business,” he says with a laugh, but they keep trying to get it out of him; he just tells them they'll have to try harder.

The thing is, he and Nikaido decided not to go all out with their relationship, at least not in school. Their friends would most likely be supportive and happy for them, yes, but they don't want to have to deal with the people that might not be as easy about it. So he doesn't tell them, only says that they might get to know at some point. And his friends start discussing who it might be, louder than he'd like them to, but it's not like they get it right anyway.

But since they so gladly discuss it, he doesn't really react when they girls by the classroom door whisper when he leaves for lunch, when he thinks he catches his name in it. He does think it's weird, that a couple hickeys would give him that much attention; it's not like he's been acting particularly innocent up until now, and he's not really the first one in the class to have them, either. He doesn't linger on the thought, though, because Nikaido meets him in the corridor and they head off to their usual place.

At least Nikaido is like he normally is, if not a little proud, even. When Kento pushes at his shoulder and asks why he's looking so smug, he blushes a little, but answers without being embarrassed.  
“You're mine,” he just says, and it's really really cheesy, but also really really cute.  
“... And?”  
“And even if no one else knows it, they can see that you belong to someone. And I know that that someone is me.” He's probably not aware of it, but Nikaido's eyes sparkle a little as he says it. It has Kento's heart squeezing tight in his chest, full of feelings he's not sure he could describe if asked to, and he can't hold back anymore.  
“You're so damn cute, did you know that?”  
“Yeah,” he laughs, and Kento can't do anything other than laugh with him.

The happiness lingers while he walks down the corridor back to the classroom. There's more eyes on him than usual, at least that's what it feels like, though, but he assumes it's just the hickeys again, that it'll be easier tomorrow when everyone's over it. It still makes him feel a little awkward, though; he's not used to being stared at, except maybe for when Taisuke teases him in front of people. Other than those times, no one usually pays him more attention than they do any other of the students.

It doesn't get better, though. If anything, it get worse day by day, but Kento tries not to let it get to him. His friends still talk to him, they're just like usual, although a few of them look like there's something they want to tell him about. They never do, though, and he doesn't ask either. He's more worried about Nikaido. He's quieter, still looks happy when they see each other, but when they're not involved in conversation, it's as though something clouds his entire mind, and he has to be woken from it for Kento to be able to talk to him again.  
“Nika, what's up?” he tries, dares place his hand on his thigh even though there's people who could see them if they wanted to.  
He jerks, as if surprised. “Nothing,” is his quick answer, and he looks away.  
“Did I do something?”  
“Of course you didn't! You've been perfect.” He sounds completely honest, and Kento sighs in relief. “It's them,” he continues then, quieter, “they won't leave me alone.”  
“They... who? They found out about us? They're not bullying you, are they?”  
Nikaido looks up at him, finally, and he looks confused. As if he can't believe Kento doesn't know what he's talking about. “No, they don't know about us.” The bell rings, and they don't have time to go deeper into the conversation.

Another week passes, and the glances and whispers never stop. When they're alone and not in school, Nikaido is just as usual, happy and cuddly, but in school it's as though he's reminded of whatever it is that is going on, and he gets more and more silent, less loud and cheerful. Kento tries asking him again, wants to know what's going on, but he doesn't seem to be able to answer, and he doesn't want to push it, either.

But it's the Friday that week, that he figures it out. There's still no one that tells him, just a stiff silence when he enters the classroom in the morning, eyes following him wherever he goes, and the whispers that start as soon as the other students think he can't hear them anymore. It's getting to his head, really, starting to feel the anxiety he's sure Nikaido has been feeling the past weeks. And he's on the way out of the school, on his way home, when he finally catches the words a couple girls whisper to each other when he walks past them.  
 _“His brother...”_ is all he hears, but it's definitely enough, like a cold stab to his heart and he hurries out of the building. It can't possibly be. There's no way there are rumors about him and his brother circulating. It must be something about Taisuke, something that doesn't actually involve himself. That's what he tries to calm himself with, but he finds his heart beating at double speed, sweat breaking out on his back and he knows, he knows exactly what kind of rumors are being spread, because it all makes sense.

And he freezes when he sees the black car in the parking lot, when he sees Taisuke leaning against the car as he waits. But he figures that if he's going to let people know it's not what they think it is, even though it has been, he should go down there, act like usual, and get in the car. So he hurries to the car, tries to get there before the entire school is out there to watch, and kind of succeeds; there's only one class that's made it to the bus stop when he steps up to Taisuke, who gives him a hug that ends abruptly when Kento pushes him away.  
“Don't touch me. Let's get in the car. Get the top up,” he hisses, walks around him and sits in the passenger seat, leaves Taisuke confused for a couple seconds before he does as told.  
“Kento? What's going on?” he asks as he drives out of the parking and onto the road. Even if Kento's hands hadn't been shaking uncontrollably he would have seen that something is wrong, horribly wrong.  
“Don't go home. Go somewhere we can talk without being heard.” He's on the verge to tears, he feels ridiculous when he realizes it, when he understands that Taisuke must hear it. There's a hand on his knee, a comforting touch, and he bursts out crying at that, and the words that follow it.  
“It's okay, Kento. Breath, try to calm down, okay?”

They end up in another parking lot, in the corner of it, next to a building, and they stay in the car once the engine is turned off.  
“Kento?” He hears Taisuke undo his belt and turn in his seat, but he can't look at him. “Kento, talk to me.”  
He draws a deep, shuddering breath, and looks up at his brother. “Taisuke,” he starts, but feels the tears welling up again, and turns his eyes away. “I think there's rumors about us.” He buries his face in his hands as the tears overflow and start running again.  
“About... you and Nika?” he tries, maybe hoping for the best, and he takes his hands, gently pulls them from his face.  
Kento shakes his head. “No. About you and me, Taisuke.” He has to pause to breathe. “My entire year is talking about it. Because Nika put hickeys on me, and they might be thinking they're yours.”

There's a long silence before Taisuke speaks again. “But... your friends never suspected anything?”  
“That's the thing. No one has told me, or asked me about it. It's been going on for two weeks now and...” It's as though the words won't leave his mouth unless he physically forces them.  
“And...?”  
“And Nika feels like shit because of it, yet still he won't tell me. So it can't be anything else, can it?”  
Taisuke looks disconcerted, and it takes a minute before he speaks. “Shit, Kento. Shit I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do?”  
“I guess you could stop acting like we're fucking?” The words slip out without his brain's consent, and he knows it's unfair, because Taisuke has adapted to the situation without a single word of complaint, hasn't done anything other than what he's always done in front of people. And that didn't start any rumors earlier.  
“It's not like I didn't try.” He sounds a bit hurt, and Kento doesn't blame him. “But I meant, like, should I talk to someone? Tell them it's not what they think it is?”  
“You think they'd believe that? Honestly?”  
Taisuke sighs. “... I guess not. I could bring a girlfriend when I pick you up, would that help?”  
“How many of them do you have?”  
“None, but I could pick one up for the purpose? Or bring one of the assistants from the studio? Please, is there really nothing I could do?” He's starting to sound desperate, and it baffles Kento for a moment, until he realizes why. In the worst case, if the rumors get to the teachers, they'll contact their parents. And they can't lie to their parents, because parents can see when their children aren't telling the truth.

-

Nikaido shows up at his place with a smile the next day, says hi to his parents like he always does, kisses Kento hello after he has put his shoes aside. They meet Taisuke in the corridor on the way to Kento's room; Taisuke greets him like usual, but Nikaido just looks at him, and for a moment his eyes seem to go cold in a way that Kento has never seen before.

“Nika, I think we need to talk.” They're sitting on his bed, much like Kento had with Taisuke when he first told him about dating Nikaido, only this time, it feels about twice as bad. “There are rumors, right? That's what making you feel so bad?”  
Nikaido tenses. “... Yeah. Yeah, there's rumors.”  
“And they're not about me and you, am I right?” Nikaido nods in response. “They're...” he breathes deeply once. “They're about me and Taisuke, aren't they?”  
He nods again. “But Kento don't worry, I don't believe them! It probably started with the marks, and I know very well that I made them!” He smiles as he speaks, and it kind of breaks Kento's heart to see. “You're just close to your brother, and that's great, isn't it? They can think what they want.”  
“But it hurts you, doesn't it?”  
The smile fades. “Well. It's not fun to hear day after day that your boyfriend gets fucked by his brother, what did you think? But I know the truth, so it really doesn't matter what they say. I'll just live with it, okay? They don't know we're dating anyway, they think we're just friends. So it could be worse.”

Kento can't help but question how he even managed to get such a wonderful boyfriend, when that boyfriend clearly hasn't deserved the position he's been put in.

-

Despite saying that he's fine, that he doesn't believe the rumors, Kento notices that Nikaido is keeping his eyes on him. He asks a little more often what Kento did last night, in a casual tone that would be perfectly normal; maybe it is, and Kento is just overthinking, but it feels like there's a point in asking. When Taisuke comes to pick him up to go to the gym, which he still does, only slightly less touchy, Nikaido glances worriedly at them from the bus station, but he never says anything.

It's obvious though, that he's watching for any kind of sign that might mean that the rumors are true. And the constant whispering, that is barely whispering anymore, is getting to him, too. In front of Kento he pretends that it doesn't, says that it doesn't matter, when he's asked if he really is okay with it. And it might be true that it doesn't matter, that he wants to be with Kento even though he has to go through it, but he's definitely not okay.

He meets Nikaido for lunch break, like he does every day, but that one Friday, he's anything but okay. He looks like he hasn't slept, and like he's been crying, and there's no way Kento can't ask about it.  
“I had a nightmare,” he just says, eyes on his food rather than on Kento.  
“Tell me about it?”  
He makes a face, like it physically hurts him to think of it. “About you. And about Taisuke. You were...” It seems like he can't get himself to end the sentence; he doesn't need to, either. “Right in front of me. It felt horrible to watch, but I just couldn't wake up.”

Kento pulls Nikaido into an embrace, and he starts sobbing the very instance his face is hidden against Kento's shoulder. He cries and he cries; Kento just holds him, doesn't say a word, because he can't lie to him. He's not going to lie to him, but he's not going to tell the truth, either. Not unless he's forced to it. The forty minutes of break seems shorter than a usual ten minute one, with Nikaido crying against his shoulder and his heart heavier than ever before. Nikaido is not the slightest okay, and it kills him to see it, yet there is still one thing that could make it worse; that he would start believing the rumors, and he doesn't seem far from that at all.

The same afternoon, Nikaido asks him to come over, to spend the night with him. Once they get home, once Nikaido's red, swollen eyes go back to a normal skin tone, he is his usual self again, as if nothing ever changed. They play games while his sister watches, make dinner together because Nikaido's mom is at her friend's place and his dad is working late, cuddle up together in front of a TV show neither of them really care about while the sister is on the phone with someone for-fucking-ever, and when they go to bed, it's actually kind of early. Kento has his back facing the wall and an arm around Nikaido's waist, breathing into the hair on the back of his head as he draws calm circles on his bare skin.  
“Goodnight, baby,” he whispers, gets a “goodnight” for himself, and he probably falls asleep before Nikaido does.


	7. Chapter 7

When he wakes up in the morning, Nikaido is on his back, eyes closed, but as soon as Kento moves, they open. But he doesn't turn his head, doesn't respond when Kento mumbles a sleepy "good morning", and on top of that, he looks incredibly tense.  
"Nika, what's up? Nightmares again?"  
"I wish." That's all he says, and Kento turns onto his stomach, pushes himself up on his elbows.  
"What is it, then?"

Nikaido still doesn't look at him, only reaches for one of the smartphones on his bedside table; Kento's phone.  
"I was going to check the time when I woke up. An hour ago. And your phone happened to be the closest one I guess." He sits up in the bed, hands Kento the phone, and reaches for the tank top he had carelessly dropped on the floor next to the bed the previous night. "Can you explain this?" He pulls the top on, and watches as Kento takes the device in his own hand. It lights up at the press of the home button, and he feels like a heavy stone drops inside his body when he sees what is making Nikaido act the way he does.  
 _"Kento, I want you in my bed tonight~"_  
It's just one text message, one sentence, but it's so, so wrong, because the sender reads Taisuke and fuck, it's probably all ruined now. He knows the latest design project went on the runway yesterday night, that there must have been a party and Taisuke must have been drunk off his ass to send him a message like that, especially after not being with him for a while. Stupid, stupid Taisuke.  
"Can you, Kenpi?"

Kento sits up, stays silent for a good minute before he tries to speak. "Nika... It's probably just a joke..."  
"Yeah, I've been trying to tell myself that. But you know what, the more I think, the harder it is to believe."  
"He must have been drinking last night..." he tries again, but he can see in Nikaido's eyes that it's not a valid explanation.  
"I'm sorry, Kenpi, that doesn't make it any better. Do you know anyone who would have sent something like that to their sibling, drunk or not? Do you think I would send my sister a message like that?"  
"... No." Tears burn behind his eyelids.  
"So tell me the truth, so I can believe it." He sounds so stern, so indifferent, like he can't even bother to be emotional anymore. "You know, I wouldn't be surprised? That you had hickeys and wasn't a virgin was never weird, except I never saw anyone you were close enough to to sleep with, but then again I don't know all your friends." He pauses, and Kento says nothing. "But you said it was "kind of" a fuck buddy thing. Which didn't sound weird at all, until you clearly stayed home the entire evening, texting pretty much all the time, but came to school with new hickeys anyway. That's when it started to get weird, you know?"

He knows that Nikaido is making pauses so that Kento can tell him he's wrong without interrupting him as he speaks. Only he can't bring himself to, because it sounds like Nikaido has caught every single detail.  
"And then I saw you with him, when he came to pick you up for ice-cream or whatever. Is it like they say, did he take you somewhere else, did he fuck you that afternoon? Because honestly, you two looked more like a couple than we've ever done, and it was tough to watch."  
"No, he didn-" he starts, finally gets words out, but Nikaido cuts him off.  
"He didn't?" He winces at Nikaido's tone; he's upset, and finally letting it show, after weeks of holding it in along with his suspicion. "But he has before? He has, right?" Silence, again. "When you told me that it was okay if I made the hickeys visible, that's when I started suspecting it for real. Not at the time, but afterwards, when the rumors spread. Because why hadn't it been okay before?"

He's tongue tied, mute, has no idea what to even say. Nikaido just laid out all of his thoughts in front of him, and he can't deny a single one of them. Half of him wants to punch Taisuke in the face; the other half just want to curl into a ball and cry while begging for forgiveness.  
"Nika..." he starts, finally, tries to place a hand on Nikaido's knee, but it's shoved away. "I'm sorry." Tears run down his cheeks before he even notices, and when he meets Nikaido's glances he finds that he's not far from crying, either. "The rumors... They aren't wrong. Not completely." He takes a deep breath, because he has never told anyone this before - didn't think there would ever be a situation where he would have to. "I have slept with Taisuke."  
"... You..." is all he gets back, and it almost sounds angry.  
"I have slept with him. But I don't now. Not since we started dating."  
"You think that matters?" he snaps. "That's fucking disgusting."

It is, he supposes. To anyone that isn't him or Taisuke. But he doesn't anymore, and he wants that to be the focus.  
"Yeah, I guess I am disgusting," he snaps back, voice a bit loud, breaking a little as he cries. "But I haven't been unfaithful to you."  
"Kenpi really?" Nikaido gets off the bed, stands up, pulls a pair of sweats on in one swift, angry movement. "How would you feel if you learned that your boyfriend has been fucking his own damn brother?! Would you be _happy_ that he didn't do so while you were a couple, or would you find it gross anyway?!"

There's nothing for him to say, because while he has known that it is wrong, it has never felt disgusting. Which he can't try to explain anyway, because it wouldn't make anything better, so he just sits there under Nikaido's staring with tears running down his cheeks.  
"You know, ever since I started suspecting it for real, it's been really hard on me? You say that you like me, that you want me to be yours, but how can I be sure that you don't do your fucking brother? You live in the same house and spend the time I'm not there together, and you're all cuddly even in public, wouldn't surprise me if you'd let him fuck you when he wants to." He's so clearly upset, even though he's only raising his voice, a cold and put-off tone in it.  
"Nika, please," he sobs, "I would never. I want to be with you, okay?"  
"Yeah, and you know what sucks? I really want to be with you too, because I've never felt like this and I can't believe you might feel the same for me, but it's really tough?" His voice cracks at the last words. "I feel like I can't trust you. How can I know you don't sleep with him?"  
"I _don't_ ," he keeps trying.  
"Kenpi," and now Nikaido is crying too. "I can't take it. I feel anxious all the time and I need to concentrate on school, or at least on the good feelings I have for you, but I keep worrying and I don't want to cry myself to sleep another night." He sits down on the edge of the bed, back towards Kento, and covers his face with his hands, sobbing quietly against them, and when Kento tries to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, he shrugs it off and leans away. "You should probably leave now."

-

Kento makes it all the way home but barely inside before he bursts out crying again, back against the door as he shakes with sobs.  
"Kento?" he hears his mom ask as she approaches. He's home way too early. "Kento, did something happen?" He looks up and her face is kind of blurry until he blinks the tears out of his eyes, and she pulls him into a gentle hug. "Did you fight?"

There's no need for her to say his name; they both know who she's talking about, and that alone makes him cry harder.  
"Yes," he manages, and when she lets go and pulls away, she strokes his cheek with a concerned look on her face.  
"Go rest," she suggests, assuming he wants to be alone, and he nods, even though it's not even half past nine in the morning and he shouldn't need to rest at all. "Taisuke is asleep. He got back late after a party or something. But I'm sure he'll listen if you want to talk to him about it when he wakes up."  
He winces at the mention of his brother, but just a little, not enough that his mother reacts. "Yeah."

But he doesn't talk to Taisuke about it, not until he's gets asked. And it takes a week before that happens. A week where he feels bad for Nikaido, has a constant worry in his chest, can't sleep properly, and it feels like it will never end, either. Nikaido doesn't send him a single text message, they don't see each other in school, except the one time they pass by in the corridor, and their eyes don't even meet. Yet even though he knows Nikaido is upset, doesn't want him near, there's a part of Kento that just wants to stop him, pull him into his arms and kiss him, say sorry a hundred times and then some, kiss him again, and be happy. But he knows it's not that easy, and that he will have to wait for Nikaido to come to him. If he ever does.

Because he doesn't know what they are anymore. If they are still a couple, or if Nikaido asking him to leave meant that they can't be together ever again. He doesn't know if Nikaido will ever trust him again, and his heart has never felt as broken as it does the entire week he doesn't tell anyone at all.

He survives the week in school, friends still on his side, but he feels so much more lonely when he hears people whispering about it him, now that he doesn't have Nikaido on his side. Then he remembers that Nikaido might even be having it worse, and that just makes him feel horrible. At least he has himself to blame; the only thing Nikaido did wrong was fall in love.

When Taisuke knocks on his door, then enters without waiting for an answer, Kento has just gotten into bed. He turns to see his brother's silhouette in the light that comes with opening the door, and he doesn't try to make him leave, has no energy to. The light disappears when the door closes again, but his eyes are used to the dark already, and he can see Taisuke approaching.  
“Kento?” His voice is so soft, like he's taking great care in choosing the tone to speak in, and it's so comforting to hear.  
“Yeah?” he replies, even though he knows why Taisuke is there.  
He sits down on the bed, turned partly towards Kento, bites his lip before he speaks again. “Something happened with Nika, right?” Of course he knows already.  
“... Did mom tell you?”  
“No. Just guessing. You're not happy, and you're happy when you're with him. Plus your eyes aren't glued to your phone lately.”

It warms his heart a little, to hear that Taisuke watches him so closely. That even though everything feels hopeless, at least someone cares enough to be worried about him.  
“Yes, something happened.” He sits up, and can't keep the bitter tone out of his words at the memory of what caused Nikaido to ask in the first place. “You sent me that text message.”  
“I'm sorry,” and it really sounds like he is. “I was drunk, and...”  
“I don't want to say that it's okay, because it's not, and it might have ruined everything, but... I know you didn't mean to.” He means to speak calmly, but he can already feel his voice shaking. Taisuke can see it too, scoots a little closer, then reaches out in an attempt to hug him, but Kento leans away from him and he only ends up holding his forearms in a soft grip.  
“So... he knows?”

A single tears runs down his cheek before Kento even notices; it drops down and hits the blanket that still covers his legs with a sound that is only heard because of the tense silence between them.  
“I told him the truth. About us.” Another tear forms and falls, then another one, and soon he's sobbing quietly, waiting for Taisuke to say something. Just something.  
“And?” he just asks, tries to pull Kento into an embrace again, puts a little more force into his efforts this time.  
“He said I was disgusting, then told me to leave,” he weeps as he struggles a little against Taisuke, “and I haven't heard from him since. He doesn't even look at me in school.” Taisuke fully gets his arms around him, holds him against his own body, and Kento finally stops struggling. His arms come up, wrap around Taisuke's shoulders and he sobs against the side of his neck.  
“Shh.” There's a couple of soft lips against the side of his head, and the warmth, the hushing, the familiar smell, is all so calming that Kento only starts crying harder.  
“Taisuke, I don't wanna do anything anymore. I just want to be with him and be happy,” he cries, and the arms around him tighten. “But he doesn't want me anymore, and I don't want to be alone.”

At that, Taisuke pulls back a little, cups Kento's face in his hands and looks him straight in the eyes. For a moment he looks like he's about to kiss him, and Kento nearly wants him to, if only for some kind of proof that at least someone still loves him. But he doesn't, and in the dark it's impossible to guess what he's thinking by looking at his face.  
“If there's someone that you want to be with, that doesn't want you,” he finally says after what feels like a couple of minutes but can't have been more than a half, “they're really, really stupid.”  
“He is kind of stupid,” he cries, but with a pained smile this time, and Taisuke hugs him tight again.  
“We should sleep.”

And they do, Taisuke kicks off his sweatpants and gets into the bed next to him, lets Kento cuddle up against his t-shirt clad chest, waits until his quiet sobs stop and kisses him on the forehead before he says goodnight. The familiarity makes it so comfortable, so easy to just go with, and when he falls asleep, that night is the first in many that Kento sleeps all the way until morning.


	8. Chapter 8

Kento's phone buzzes while he's having lunch the following Sunday, and looking at the screen he nearly has a heart attack. It's an incoming call, and the caller ID is Nikaido. He can't make himself pick it up, it's like he physically can't, like his hands won't move; he just stares at it while his heartbeat increases to double his normal pace, if not more. The buzzing stops, and he just sits there, not a single bit of appetite left; rather the opposite, he feels nauseous.

But it starts again, and this time he moves, takes the phone in shaky hands, and after a mental slap to his own face, he picks up.  
“... Hello?” he tries, and the long silence confirms that Nikaido is in the same state as he is.  
“Hi, Kenpi.” Another long pause. “I... I want to talk to you. Face to face.”

It takes nearly an hour for Nikaido to get there; nearly an hour Kento goes through an entire spectrum of feelings, from happy, thinking Nikaido wants to continue being his boyfriend, to fear, of being broken up with, to breaking down in tears when remembering what happened last time. Taisuke tries to calm him down, tells him to sit down and breath and not think about how nauseous he is. Then comes the knock on the door, and Kento freezes for a second, before he gets pushed towards the door.  
“Hi,” Kento says when he opens the door, and it feels like a weight lifts from his heart when he sees that Nikaido at least doesn't look angry or upset. Something does change in his facial expression when their eyes meet, but it almost looks like worry, and Kento assumes he can see that his eyes are a little swollen from crying.  
“... Let me in?” he asks, and Kento realizes that he's been staring.  
“Oh, sorry, welcome.” Holding the door open he takes a step back, lets it fall close behind them as he waits for Nikaido to take off his shoes. And when he feels arms wrapping around his waist to pull him into a hug, he's actually surprised. Nikaido just holds him, inhales deeply; he dares sneak his arms around him as well, and does the same. Draws the smell of Nikaido's shampoo into his nose, closes his eyes as he just feels his warmth, and when Nikaido pulls back, he feels disappointed it didn't last longer.  
“It's silly,” he mumbles, “it's just been a week. But I've really missed you.”

Kento thinks his chest might explode with feelings, of relief, of happiness, of love, so intense that it almost hurts, and he wants to pull Nikaido close again and just kiss him. But he doesn't, knows that it would be to go too far, so he just waits for him to get his shoes off and put them in order. While he does he hears approaching footsteps, and it is probably the worst possible timing when Taisuke passes the hallway to go upstairs to his room. Sending a worried glance at Nikaido he sees him glaring at Taisuke, a glare that is nothing like he has ever seen before; it's full of hatred, clearly saying that he doesn't want to see him, even less talk to him. Taisuke seems to get the hint, just hurries up the stairs. When they hear his door open and close Kento turns fully to Nikaido, and asks him to come with him, says that they should talk in his room, in case the parents come home. He doesn't want to be disturbed.

They sit on the bed, on each side of it, Kento's legs crossed while Nikaido just stays on the edge of it.  
“So...” they both begin at the same time, and Kento can't help but laugh a little. Nothing has changed.  
“I missed you too,” he says instead, and continues with a small, not exactly happy smile, “the past week has been horrible.”  
Nikaido looks at him with pain in his eyes. “It has.” When that's all he says, but continues looking at him like that, Kento thinks his heart might stop. What if he really is there to break up?

But then he speaks again. “I still think it's disgusting. And I'd prefer to never see him ever again.” There's a lack of emotion in his voice. Kento doesn't like it. “I'm not sure I can trust you. But I'm willing to try.”  
He just can't help but smile, even though Nikaido's face doesn't change a bit. “You won't regret it, I swear.”  
“You haven't done anything with him, have you? While we...”  
“Nika,” he says, crawls a little closer to him. “I haven't done anything with him ever since I asked you to go on a date with me.”

Finally, Nikaido smiles, pulls his own legs up onto the bed and turns towards Kento. “Really?”  
“Really.”  
“Good. Don't.” He moves to lean against the wall, spreads his legs and reaches out, and doesn't even need to pull to have Kento settle between them, back against his chest. The embrace warms his entire body, not just physically, and he can't remember ever being happier.  
“I won't. I don't even want to, you know?”  
Nikaido nuzzles his hair, and he can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks again. “Good. Because you're mine.”

-

Of course, the rumors don't stop. But it's easier to deal with them when they have each other. Once a couple of girls confront Kento, ask him if it's true that he sleeps with his brother, and when he says that he doesn't they just wonder out loud how Kento can even think of doing something like that. That it's gross.  
“But maybe he just likes his dick?” one of them asks the other, but looks at Kento with a face that says she's having so much fun being disgusted by him, teasing him.  
“He is hot, after all,” the other says with a wink, and they burst out laughing. Kento, however, just rolls his eyes and is about to leave them to themselves, when someone crashes into his back.  
“Kenpi!” the voice of whoever it is says, and he figures out who is clinging to him just by the nickname. “What's going on?”  
“Nika, hi,” he laughs, and the girls seem a little mad that he changed mood so quickly.  
“We were talking about how he likes sucking his brother off,” they say, hoping for a bigger reaction than they get; Nikaido actually laughs, surprising Kento as well.  
“I don't think he does that. He likes me better,” he says, presses a quick kiss to Kento's cheek before he runs, expecting to be chased, and Kento is not about to let him down. He follows him around the building, catches him against a wall after running up three stairs, and they laugh together, both of them panting.  
“They'll find out about us if you keep doing that,” Kento manages to get out, his back leaning against the wall for support while he tries to catch his breath.  
“So?” he smiles mischievously, and before Kento can protest he has Nikaido's lips pressed to his own. Just a quick kiss, but it's sweet, sets butterflies into movement inside him, and he finds himself wishing school was over already.

It's just a couple days later that Taisuke breaks the news about moving out. One of the designers in his studio is getting married, is therefore looking to buy an apartment together with his soon-to-be wife, and Taisuke has been offered his old apartment. The location is central, close to the studio, and he'll get to rent it for a little cheaper than the average apartments in the same area. Their parents are glad to hear about it, congratulate him and promise to help him moving. Kento is of course happy for his sake, but there's a little bit of sadness in him, because no matter if they had their strange relationship not, he is used to having his brother just a wall away.

And maybe Taisuke notices, because he sits down next to him on the couch later, starts talking about it without a proper conversation starter.  
“I won't disappear, you know. I won't be here, in the house, but you can come see me anytime.”  
Kento nods. “I know. It just... I never thought about it. That I'd live here with mom and dad and you wouldn't be here.”  
“See it from the bright side?” he tries in an attempt to cheer him up, and now Kento takes his attention off the TV show, fully directs it to Taisuke. “Nika won't have to worry about us.”

That is true, he supposes. Nikaido knows he doesn't sleep with Taisuke and that he has no intention to do so either, but it still seems like he won't trust it completely. But with Taisuke no longer in the house, it might be easier for him.  
“Just gotta get rid of those rumors too, then,” Kento mumbles.  
“Won't they go away if I move out, though?”  
He laughs, but it's not in a happy way. “Imagine if someone sees me going to visit you. They'd say I go there so you can fuck me and not care about being quiet, or something.” Taisuke's eyes darken a little at the thought of that, and it's so dangerously attractive, but it clears with a blink and a smug smile.  
“I would though, if you'd let me,” and they both know that while he is joking about it now, he probably would, if given the chance. “But hey, why don't you just tell everyone that you're dating Nika?”

Kento just stares at him. Of course. He has been so stressed out by the rumors, so keen on not letting everybody know he's actually gay, that he is dating Nikaido, that he hasn't realized that just letting them know might be the solution to it all.  
“I...” he starts, but he isn't sure what he even wants to say.  
“I know you don't want to come out to everyone like that.” If anyone understands that issue, it's Taisuke. He's a designer, most people assume he's gay to begin with (in fact, he claims that he's bisexual, only leaning more towards men), but he hasn't always been in the fashion field, has also been unsure whether to reveal his orientation or not. As a result, not even their parents know for sure, even though the brothers are both convinced that they have guessed it already. “But don't you think it's better to do it? Either they think you're sleeping with me, your older brother, or they know that you're dating a boy. What's worse, really?”  
“Taisuke, I love you.” The words come out of nowhere, but they're true.  
Taisuke's eyes seem a little sad, but not entirely so, when he replies. “I love you too, Kento.” He leans in, strokes a strand of hair behind Kento's ear, then lets their lips brush. It's such a soft touch, a transfer of emotions rather than a kiss, and when Taisuke pulls back, he looks a little happier. “I won't be leaving yet, but when I do, you know where to find me. And let me know how it turns out in school?”  
“Of course,” and they share a last hug before Taisuke leaves for bed. Silently, Kento wonders how he even deserves his brother, no matter how twisted it might seem that he thinks so.

-

He feels hilariously nervous as he enters the school building with a new, visible hickey, and as expected the whispering begins immediately. But he doesn't listen to them, heads straight for his classroom, where he sits down with his friends with a serious look on his face.  
"Really though, who is it?" one of the girls ask curiously when she spots the dark mark, but he waves it away and starts speaking.  
"I need to tell you something." They stiffen; perhaps they think he's about to confirm the rumors. "You know Nikaido?"  
"Well. Yeah? You spend all your time awake communicating with him in one way or another," and everyone laughs a little, like they would have to be blind not to know exactly who he is.  
"Yeah. I'm... He's my boyfriend."

To his great surprise, none of his friends look particularly shocked by it. Quite the opposite.  
"Told you so!" the girl says, the one who had looked like she knew something; it turns out she had spotted them together outside school once, had thought they looked like more than friends. And when Nikaido comes to meet him outside the classroom for lunch they make him come inside and sit with them, congratulate him, and while he looks a little confused at first, he lights up into a smile when he realizes that they know and are happy about it.

The news spread quick throughout the school; the next time Kento hears someone whisper he catches both his and Nikaido's names, and even though he wishes they wouldn't gossip about them at all, it feels a lot better when it's something he doesn't feel the need to hide. Not anymore. Because Nikaido goes back to his original self, smiles and shouts and jokes. He still doesn't like to meet Taisuke, but hex deals with it when he has to; he has told Kento that he trusts him, that he doesn't think he would cheat, it's just that he can't exactly control what he feels. That he feels uncertain and uncomfortable around Taisuke.

But that also gets better when Taisuke moves out. There's no need for him to worry about things happening at Kento's place when Taisuke isn't there to make them happen, and he doesn't even narrow his eyes when Kento tells him that he's going to go see his brother.

Taisuke seems so up in his job, sketches everywhere in the apartment, to the degree where Kento finds himself telling him to leave work in the studio and keep it out of his mind at home, but all he gets back is that he can't get the designs out of his head anyway. They make dinner together, eat it while chatting; Kento tells him about school, about all of his stupid reports, about Nikaido's stupid reports, then listens to him talking about the theme for the current project, the dress he's been asked to design but just can't narrow his ideas down to one. It's nice to talk, catch up a little. Even though it's not like they haven't had any contact at all, it hasn't been possible to get the details, like they used to when they lived together.  
“So everything is fine with Nika, then?” Taisuke sounds genuinely interested in knowing.  
“Yeah, it's perfect.” Kento can't help the choice of his words. “And how's it going for you?”  
“What?”  
“You're not seeing anyone?”  
Taisuke bites into his lower lip. “Nah. I've been out clubbing though,” and Kento knows that means he's been doing someone, at least once.  
“No one you're interested in?”  
“From the clubs? No. They can't compare.” For a moment he looks a little sad, and Kento nearly feels guilty.  
“... Is there anyone you didn't meet at the club?”  
“Well...” Taisuke blushes, and it's so ridiculously cute. Kento rarely sees his brother blush at all. “There is a guy. He works behind the stage at runway shows. Sends out the models. He's older than me, I think. Or maybe the same age, not sure.”  
“Have you talked to him?” Kento can't hold his curiousness back. Never before has Taisuke talked about having being interested in someone.  
“No. But he's totally checking out my ass when I bend over.” He laughs a little; Kento joins, hits him lightly over the head, and wishes him good luck.

He doesn't stay the night; on the way home he calls Nikaido, asks if he can stay at his place. It's closer to Taisuke's apartment than his home is anyway, plus he really feels like getting a kiss before bedtime; Nikaido isn't one to deny him that. So when he gets there they go to bed, and he tells Nikaido what he talked to Taisuke about, tells him about the guy that watches him bend over; Nikaido actually laughs about that too, despite it being about the brother he despises. In the end they just kind of turn silent, Kento cuddling up against Nikaido's chest, lips not far from his bare skin, warming it with every breath he exhales. It's so similar to how it was with Taisuke; comforting, cozy, warm and comfortable. But at the same time it's so, so different, in a way he's not sure he could explain even if he wanted to. He just knows that he would choose Nikaido over anything, and not doubt that choice a single second.


End file.
